Rant#

Drafting this article post dinner. Went to visit the tallest Ganesh pandal in Khairatabad but got flabbergasted seeing the crowd and changed plans. This article is about my income.

Approximately 85% of my income goes away in clearing our (family) debts which is INR 30 Lakhs (approx). We have no assets to sell and pay off the debts. Nanna tried financing and it’s currently in a bad state. Just doing my bit to make it easier for him (us).

So, my monthly cap to spend for myself is barely INR 2500 since the last 6 months and I find it emotionally challenging. When Amma talks about dues and I know I can’t help, it’s difficult to shut the voice in my head.

I sleep talk when I’m highly stressed. Last time I sleep talked was in January 2023; my notice period in previous company was ending and I had no offers elsewhere which meant leaving the city & going back home for shelter – it was stressing because not working wasn’t an option when there are responsibilities waiting for you.

Been stressing a lot this week (18-23rd September’23). Adding fuel to the fire is my relationship which is going South (detailed post will be out). It’s all just too much to handle this moment that only gym & work is my escape.

I’m helpless at the moment but don’t need any help either. I’m just waiting for the days to pass. Survival mode.

~ Adios! Take care of your mental health ❤ 🙂