Tough love

Drafting this article after editing 3 more drafts before deciding to stick with this 😀 I didn’t fast today because I had no energy. I’m weak.

Lately, I’ve been saying ‘no’ a little too frequently.

• “Nikitha, can you make a resume for me?” Nope.
  • I can help you edit the resume template.
• “Nikitha, can you send some videos to learn excel?” Nope.
  • Search for the videos and share them with me. I shall help you understand if that suffices your requirement.
• “Nikitha, can you teach me using LinkedIn?” Nope.
  • Start using it and I’ll share the related content with you.
• “Nikitha can you teach me writing an email?” Nope.
  • Send one and you’ll understand how it works.

People really have the audacity to say, “I cannot do all that searching part because it is boring & I have no time for it.” This is where I understand that even if I do the searching part, the person shall never learn even the ABCs of it because the ‘The reels attitude’ has creeped in. Immediate and short gratification.

When people ask me to teach something, I redirect them to YouTube. They get pissed. Not that I cannot teach but, I CANNOT NOT! I learnt a lot of stuff while doing.

I honestly appriciate the ‘want to learn’ attitude but ‘efforts to learn’ matters to me and if I don’t see them, I shall not help. Somebody who cannot struggle to learn something will never appreaciate others’ time. I respect my time and energy & I’m cautious about investing them * applies to people & things *

EVERYTHING that you want to learn is on web now. You might get the wrong link twice/thrice OR you might struggle to understand the algorithm OR it might be difficult to implent that formula but eventually, it eases!

Recently, an old friend got pissed because I said I cannot refer him since he does not have the required skillsets for that job. Suddenly, I’m a bad person who’s not helping friend to settle BUT the inability to hone skills that are corporate-important is… I don’t know… a smart move?

Person X: How to job search?
Me: LinkedIn.
Person X: How to do it on LinkedIn?
Me: Figure it out!

I can’t put everything on the plate because I did not get it that way. I don’t know how to do that. I hunt/hunted to hone my skills from time to time.

One of my favourite person helped me a lot by ‘not-helping’. Her support language is tough love. She shows me a path saying, ‘this might be a possible way’ & leaves me to walk by myself.

Tough love can be rude, unsympathetic and cruel but only that shapes you up.

Sometimes, one should experience all that struggle to appreciate & understand. Words are never enough. Sadly, that’s how it works.

Anyway, this has been a long rant. To summarize, if you put no effort in, neither will I. So unbothered on losing such relationships because such people are not my kind anyway. Not really a loss and even if it is a loss, I’m more than fine losing it/them 🙂

~Adios! Really hungry. I can eat more if I eat now; else, have to cut down on the portions past 8 PM – which I don’t want :p